New technologies in the third and fourth age
As the years go by, the surrounding world changes very rapidly, sometimes too quickly. New technologies enter daily life almost without asking permission, becoming indispensable for tasks that were once simple, such as paying a bill, booking a medical appointment, accessing a service, or communicating with family members. Actions that were previously immediate suddenly become complicated, and one does not always have the time, energy, or serenity necessary to keep up. Many people feel understandably lost, as the pace of change is relentless and often shows little tolerance for those who require more time.
The silent struggle of “not understanding immediately”
It is common to forget a password, fail to understand a technical step, or fear making mistakes in front of a screen that seems to speak an unknown language. Often, this struggle remains unexpressed: one tries to manage alone, avoids devices altogether, or asks for help but with a sense of unease, feeling guilty or like a “burden.”
In this context, shame plays a fundamental role: failing at something that appears easy to others can make one feel inadequate, outdated, or “out of step.” To protect themselves from these feelings, some people begin to withdraw socially.
Technology, autonomy, and the risk of isolation
The impact of the digital world touches an extremely sensitive point: autonomy. Having to depend on an app or an unfamiliar procedure to manage one’s life can give rise to the fear of excessive dependence on children, grandchildren, or friends. This can reactivate feelings of a loss of dignity; it is not a rejection of progress, but an attempt to defend one’s own competence and inner continuity. When technology becomes a constant source of anxiety or frustration, the concrete risk is a reduction in contact—fewer messages, fewer bookings, and fewer initiatives. Gradually, the world can seem further away: not because interest is lost, but because access becomes exhausting. In this case, too, it is not a lack of will, but an understandable response to a sense of exclusion that is often unrecognized.
Finding your own way to navigate change
It is important to emphasize that there is no moral obligation to “be technological.” Instead, there is the possibility of finding a personal and sustainable way to inhabit this changing world.
This can mean:
• Consciously choosing what to learn and what to delegate.
• Accepting the need for more time compared to the frantic pace of the digital world.
• Distinguishing between what is truly useful and what can wait.
• Not measuring your personal worth based on digital speed or competence.
When the relationship with the digital world generates anger, anxiety, or isolation, it can be helpful to explore what is moving beneath the surface.
At SpazioFormaMentis, our work with people in the third and fourth age does not aim to provide technical instruction, but focuses on how change is experienced emotionally: the shame, the fear of depending on others, the sense of exclusion, and the effort of adapting.
In this space, it becomes possible to:
• Recognizing and normalizing the discomfort associated with technology
• Reducing self-criticism and shame
• Rediscovering a sense of competence and personal dignity
• Choosing how to navigate change without feeling “wrong”
• Staying connected, even when the methods change.
The ultimate goal is not to become an IT expert, but to continue feeling at home in a transforming world.
