Money and Security in Later Life
As we age, our relationship with money often undergoes a profound change. This is not necessarily about actual financial hardship, but rather about how money suddenly becomes linked to themes of security, dependence, and the fear of losing control.
Many people begin to worry more than usual: they repeatedly check their accounts, fear unexpected expenses, or feel anxious at the thought of having to ask for help. This concern may remain silent or manifest as states of tension, rigidity, and distrust toward others.
Not Greed, but Protection
It is important to understand that these behaviors are not driven by greed, but represent an attempt to protect oneself during a phase of life when autonomy is perceived as more fragile. In this context, money ceases to be merely a practical tool and takes on strong symbolic value, representing:
• The possibility of remaining independent;
• The fear of having to depend on children or others;
• The fear of becoming a burden to loved ones;
• The need to control something, when other aspects of life are no longer controllable.
For some people, this leads to rigidity: it becomes difficult to spend even when it would be possible, accumulation occurs for “security,” and every expenditure is experienced as a threat. For others, shame emerges: not feeling capable of managing everything as before, fearing mistakes, fearing inadequacy, fearing judgment.
The Impact on Relationships
When financial security is experienced as fragile, relationships can also suffer. Some may become more suspicious or withdrawn, while others may avoid the topic entirely, delegating management to others without truly feeling at ease. If money becomes the only bulwark against fear, the risk is that it ends up isolating the person instead of protecting them.
Rediscovering a Broader Sense of Security
Over time, security cannot rest exclusively on financial control, but needs to expand to other dimensions.
This means learning to:
• Distinguish between prudence and fear;
• Recognize when control is useful and when it becomes rigid;
• Accept that some forms of dependence are a human condition and not a defeat;
• Remain in relationship without feeling less worthy or less autonomous.
In this phase of life, security is not only “having enough,” but feeling safe within relationships and within oneself.
When concerns related to money generate constant anxiety or family conflicts, it can be helpful to have a space to understand what is happening on an emotional level.
At SpazioFormaMentis, the work offered does not concern financial management, but rather the emotional relationship with security and dependence.
In this space, it becomes possible to:
• Giving voice to often unexpressed fears;
• Reducing the weight of shame associated with loss of autonomy;
• Rebalancing control and trust;
• Rediscovering a more peaceful way of experiencing family relationships.
The goal is not to become “lighter” at all costs, but to prevent fear from taking command of everything else.
